Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
