There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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