I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
