I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
