He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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