He had one of those small greek statue penises
only you would photoshop your dick
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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