i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Randomize
