Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
