i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
