you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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