there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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