even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
