Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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