yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
