Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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