the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
