did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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