Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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