I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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