Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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