i jhust puked up my retainher.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
