You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I love having hate sex.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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