Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I think i got beer on your cat.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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