And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
