Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
