I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
