I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
He had one of those small greek statue penises
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
