i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
