I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
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