i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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