fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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