I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
