Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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