pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Randomize