New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
