YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
