I just threw up on my dentist
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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