So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Randomize
