I'm jealous of your bromance
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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