I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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