It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
