I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
