i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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