Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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