S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
is that a dick in a sweater?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
