You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
