i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize