probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I'm like, not good at living.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
