I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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