Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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