I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
