He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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