i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
