The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
No subtext here. People are naked.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
