So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
