I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
we made out on top of his cat.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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