One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
