: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
just tell him i said nine months
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
