I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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