you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
