apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
handjob tips. give me some.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
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