You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
