Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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