smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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