its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
