I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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